have you ever put so much effort into something, so hard and so long that your life was on the line? and in the end, and then realizing you failed it. dissappointment. have you ever had to listen to two people argue about something so useless, and meaningless you want to scream at them? but you cant cause you are in no position to say anything? frustrated. have you ever wanted to speak up about something but never could, just to avoid the conflict and the aftermath of it? ignorance. have you ever wanted to yell so loud for no reason? hoping that no one will hear you and tell you to shut up, but if they do, you have the right to punch them in the face. anger. have you ever tried to get someone's attention even then they are right in front of you? then to realize, that you'll never be the centre of their eye. jealousy. have you ever felt so lonely that even when you're with your best buddies, in a room full of people, at a party, you still keep an eye at the door cause you're waiting for someone to walk through the door? lonliness. have you ever felt so useless that there is no more meaning to any action you do? just a daily consumer, a waste of space and time. agonizing. have you ever felt so confused that everything wrong seems to be right? you dont care how people feel cause whatever you think is right, and that's what matters. puzzled. have you ever wanted to cry really hard for no apparent reason? but you decide not to because you realize it's a stupid reason. breathe. i have. daily.
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Just think of this and me as just a few of the many things to lie around, to clutter up your shelves. And I wish you weren't worth the wait cause there's some thing's I'd like to say to you... And I don't think that you know what you've been missing 'Cause I don't think that you know what you've been missing And I dare you to forget the marks you left across my neck, from those nights when we were both found at our best. Now I could make this obvious, and you, you could deny meall in one breath. you could shrug me off your shoulders... And I don't think that you know what you've been missing. 'Cause I don't think that you know what you've been missing. And I don't think that you know I said I don't think you know I said I don't think you know what your missing. Hey, lush, have fun It's the weekend Hey, lush, have fun I don't think that you know what you've been missing. I don't think that you know what you've been missing. Just forget me it's that simple Just forget me it's that simple [yeah its one of those moments when she cant find the words to describe what's going on, or how they feel. so the alternative is to look into songs. guess what? im one of the lucky ones who did. every word of this is what im feeling right now or these days in fact. thanks band i-listen-to-from-time-to-time. to be honest, i didnt even realize it until the end. while i was sitting in that lab alone. then the last words of the song captured my attention. im also trying to look past the obvious.] its been 28 days.
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it was a grand place to be. it was warm and loving. it was all knowing and exciting. it was easy but very difficult to reach. it was open and carefree. it was scary the first time. it was confusing at times. most times. it was quiet inside, but very loud outside. or sometimes, it was loud inside, blocking the noise outside. it was an adventure, an exploration, into an abyss of someone else's world. it was new and bright. it was fast and short. it was realizing the smaller things. it was seeing the bigger picture. it was you. and it was me. it was we. it was it was. now im back. from flight CX907
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we are the runaways. perfectly titled for us. so put on your best sneakers, cause it's gonna be a long way. there's no telling how far we'll go, to get what we want. what do we want? i have no fucking clue, but im sure it'll be the most amazing time to find that out with you. something we must do. i have your back, and you have mine. we'll carry each other along. you run, and i'll run with you too. this entire wild journey will leave us gasping for air. take my breath away will you? crimson and clover.
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im just mad at myself, for not keeping to my promise. i didnt want to do this to you. especially not so quickly once again. am i the most horrible person in the world? yes. i admit it. time and time again i open my big fat mouth and i just say the wrong things at the wrong times. maybe you're right, no one should ever listen to me. dont take me serious, or else you'll be damned. who knows what will happen with my words next. no im not trying to sound powering or anything, but it's just nothing ever goes right. does this compensate for the things that i should be saying out loud? instead of saying the things i shoud, i blockade them with things i shouldnt and i take the consequences into my own hands. i swore on it. i swore on everything that i believed it. i believe in tunes, and right now, i absolutely detest the song piercing into my drums. i can only pick out things i dont wanna hear. she sings ''she will love you more than i could, she who dares to stand where i stood". good job. so much for being better than the next, when you're the monster. no. dont cry, (words of encouragement). because you've been through worse, but this just hurts the most. no longer can i look into your big brown eyes, sleek black hair without feeling like a giant disappointment. i swore on everything i believe in. everything is gone, but i cant possibly let the one last thing i belive in go.
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how do i let you know i miss you so? scream until oxygen fills my lungs once again. im cold and empty. how do i make up for lost time? hold on tight until we are the only ones around. im losing touch. how do i know you will be coming back? keep burning until there is nothing left. im falling apart. but until then, i will keep loving you the way i always have. you are right there in the centre of it all, and im giving you all of me.
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a lonesome cardinal was sitting on a tree, waiting for the right time to flee. just as it was about to spread its wings, a beautiful blue songbird landed and started to sing. entranced by her, cardinal decided to stay to right there. mid summer july, cardinal still listens right on by. now, the weather is changing, the little red bird had realized something. songbird has saved a soul with her tunes. saving many faces of the moon. never will i lose faith again. because you are my miracle. all you did was save my life. my life is indebted to you. this day marks the day, the day i first called you my love, mr. mercury sings "somebody to love". we are not fancy people, we do not need diamonds and limosines, because we already have the rarest gift of all. as the clouds above are my witness, i will always listen to the songbird sing. mahal kita.
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you are 3 galaxies away. but it do you hear the distant voices whispering? they are reminding you that you're getting close to home. to me. we're on this impossible mission, but our moose like skulls keeps us going forward. put on a helmet and follow us. because this is going to be tough. nothing great comes easily in life. yes, we maybe at opposite ends. and the meridian is unreachable, untouchable, possibly unthinkable. but no matter how distant you are, how far you may seem to the naked eye, you will always be right next to me. in my heart. that is what matters. let me revolve around you now. and make you my center, my core, my everything. can you hear the distant voices whispering? can you feel my heart beating?
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dedicated to you. ily.
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throw a penny down the well, and i get a splash then ripples. clap my hands together and make a wish with all my might. all my thoughts are poured out into the well ever since that night. with you. you have become my wishing well, the peak of a mountain, the space of the ocean, the silence of the rain. as everything sinking into a bottomless pit, i know that you are on the other end. catching all my pennies, wishes, and thoughts. even if i get caught, it was all worth a shot. they all say it is impossible. but i will know that you exist on the other side. the taste, the touch. it might sound a little silly but, everyday i drop a penny into the well, and this lead me to you. no longer does it matter how far you are. nor the amount of time we get to spend together. because inside me, there is a well where i can fall into. something very true. [for mosquito]
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if you were to leave, i would feel empty inside. praying for that saint to bring you back to me. if you were to leave, i would not cry, never to make you worry, make a fist and hold in my beats. if you were to leave, i would let you go. hide in your shadows, and guide the rest of you ways, and sing the songs you love.
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as i walk along this endless path, i come up with ways to see that alluring face once again. what is the difference today? what is making my eyes close as if, something has forced the lights to turn down and bring me back into a dream. it's coming down from up above my head. it sprinkles down like rain, it sparkles bright like glitter, it the gift you always wanted, that was too big to put in a box with a bow. stardust is all around. on the ground, on the rim on my glasses, on the tip of our noses, just leave me your stardust to remember you by. and at the end of this pathway, i'll bring you to your dreams and such. your star awaits you. happy valentine's day and happy one month! =)
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