things just get wronger and wronger. i recently had a dream that basically was a dream come true. or i wish it did. twas another person in my dreams than the usual person. it gave me warmth and happiness. maybe it is just the desire for some affection because i miss you so. but it was so real that i even tried to make it happen the next day. i cant describe it, but i feel the need to analyze you and just watch you from afar. i long for the tuesdays we meet once a week and we have out secret little conversations that dont even matter to the world, but it was something to call our own. i have not met you for too long, but i feel comfortable enough with you that i can call you a friend and say anything to make you happy.
or as i say..
sometimes i act like a 5 yr old little boy, tormenting the little girl on the other side of the room just to create some sort of dialogue. why do i do this?

but i know this cannot last for long. i know it is not real, and it cant be. im only diverting myself to you because she is not here. i hope it is not wrong of me to do this. because i know who matters to me most. i will not stop myself from you, because my feelings are innocent. i dont expect anything from you of course. even tho i know there is someone else in your life, i will do my best for you to make them happy. it's odd... but...... it's also very fun. it makes life alot more interesting.

"You make me wanna leave the one I'm with
Start a new relationshipwith you
This is what you do"
wow. wtf