gchan's db-db blog (Set i)

the beginning of an ending

gchan (gchan) — 2011-04-02 15:26:39

it was so hard. this is so painful. is there any other way to put this into words. apart of me doesnt even wanna talk about it or think about it anymore. there are no words to explain how i feel about you anymore. you and i both know how this goes. and how this will go. please never apologize to me. it hurts me when you do because that is when i know that you cant do anything to make the situation better, for either of us. we need to think about what we need/want for our futures. and if im not i...

thank you

___blank (gchan) — 2011-01-29 20:28:15

for the 2 people who continues to visit my blog everyday, i thank you. i dont exactly know who you are. (or i could be totally wrong) i just wanna thank you. i wont update very often because ive been fairly busy, but it doesnt mean that nothing has been on my mind lately. but everytime i come back onto my own blog to review somethings, my little hamster on a wheel tells me 2 people cared today. i assume it is the same 2 people, (cause it could be 2 diff). i also assume that you care about...

from 2010 to 2011

___blank (gchan) — 2011-01-03 15:08:47

wow so the new decade has already turned one. and just like last year, i had have alot of people to thank. im not going to repeat that list again, because its the same group of people. of course i think that this is quite a good thing because my relationship with these people have grown stronger and will just continue (i believe for now). however, i do strongly stamp 2010 as one of the most craziest years of my life. so many things has happened, it was just eventful. that would be the best term ...

is it that bad?

___blank (gchan) — 2010-11-27 16:21:40

things just get wronger and wronger. i recently had a dream that basically was a dream come true. or i wish it did. twas another person in my dreams than the usual person. it gave me warmth and happiness. maybe it is just the desire for some affection because i miss you so. but it was so real that i even tried to make it happen the next day. i cant describe it, but i feel the need to analyze you and just watch you from afar. i long for the tuesdays we meet once a week and we have out secret litt...

things i said on october 13th.

___blank (gchan) — 2010-11-21 11:25:32

lets dig a hole and sit in it. i refuse oh! i refuse. i decline thy generous hand. because this land was built by my own mind. i know its a lot to take in, but it was anyones possession. they never regretted that night. all their mistakes will be forgotten. the dead keeps the best secrets. the eyes are dark and hollow as the forest. but it does not mean what is inside is empty. why does it sould like it is raining outside, when it is really hot. that would possibly be. its raining everywhere. ...

times should change

___blank (gchan) — 2010-11-04 14:08:45

i wish i lived in simpler times. where i would just need to care about personal safety. and survival. like war times. i would just need to care about.. my life. because what's so great about living when you dont care about living....

i quit.

___blank (gchan) — 2010-11-03 13:53:38

yea.so.one.of.the.worsedays.of my life. for over 10 yrs, i have been trying to do all i cant to make this house a little more bareable to live in. but i seriously cant do it anymore. like why do you have to make everything such a big deal ? you think we owe you for your support. but no that is not correct. to support us is humane, morals, your job, your responsibility. that is the leave you can do. but as a parent, a mentor, an inspiration, an educator, a caregiver, a mother, you have ...

lizardly

___blank (gchan) — 2010-10-20 11:24:54

i sit and wait all day. patiently waiting for my prey to come around the coner. then i go and trap them with the sweetness of my tongue. it might taste good to me, but it is a savoury kill. needing warmth underneath me. i will use your the last pound of your dead body to keep me at ease. i know this isnt right, but this is the only way. my nature lets me bring you down. >>> of course this is not what i really mean to do. im kinda annoyed with myself and how i cannot control mys...

my ODD crushes

___blank (gchan) — 2010-10-12 17:12:13

**in NO specific order** - marian rivera - lee hyori - olivia wilde - brandon flowers - megan fox - priscilla ahn - leonardo dicaprio - adam levine - emily haines - kina grannis - janis joplin - tia carrere - jlovesmac1 - dallas green - april bowlby - sofia vargara - vivian chow (the old her) - lita ford - alison mosshart - mike chang from glee - julie andrews --- i just felt like putting this out there. that my list for now, im sure i have more....

abandon ship

___blank (gchan) — 2010-10-07 14:51:03

Sit here and listen to the rain It falls so loud on my window pain Sometimes drowning me Its like a flood I wish the weather would lift me I wish it could Abandon ship before its too late Or all this love Ive got will turn into pain, You’re not so very far away But I feel more distant with each passing day I’m alone I’m the fire and youre the flame Feeling put out, whose to blame? Still I find myself misplaced Lost in someone else I feel erased ___ im alone. even though i know im not, i do f...

blameworthy

___blank (gchan) — 2010-09-30 11:57:08

who can i blame? didnt i bring this all onto myself anyways? everyone told me no and i still went for it. my heart told me that this was the right thing to do, and that i will never regret this, therefore i will be happy. but why does it hurt now? i wish i was as carefree as you are. i wish i was as open as you are. i wish i could care less, but i everytime i get to this point, only when i feel helpless, i tend to let go. i am not some sort of force of nature. i do not want to play your...

how to change blog name?

gchan (gchan) — 2010-09-03 05:09:00

i would i like to change my blog name. ive done it before, but i forgot how. please someone show me again...

the antagonist

___blank (gchan) — 2010-08-21 13:43:53

the other day i was sitting around the house moping about. i turned on the picture box to see what it'll show me today. batman returns. a classic. who can resist? catwoman eyes, batman's hardcore body and alfred's lameness. who captured me most of the character of penguin. first of how much he looked exactly like the comic. unreal. secondly, i asked myself why is he the villian in the movie? for a while, everyone loved penguin, supporting him to be mayor. flocks of women, mothers and/with th...

the first year

___blank (gchan) — 2010-08-14 10:16:09

if the past year was a race, i would run it again and again without haste. a check point if you may, to mark the 365th day. what's in a name? what's in a number? there is no difference, nothing has changed. whoever tries to rationalize what happened must be derranged, because this is what fate arranged. just like how danny zuko never wanted it to end. you were my summersend. day in and day out, dont we just want to shout it out loud? how much we love each other and we are proud. being ...

DISTURBED.at the end of the day

___blank (gchan) — 2010-07-07 14:29:15

there comes a time in the middle of the night. i rethink alot of things. i reflect on what i did that day, what ive said, who ive seen, what will i do tommorrow and so forth. and it's usually at the end of the day, that i feel like i wanna be alone. and in daytime, i wanna be surrounded with people so im too busy to stop myself from jumping off a bridge. but obviously, what i want will never be what i get. i get the total opposite, im all alone in the morning and then when it gets to the time wh...

G20

___blank (gchan) — 2010-06-29 12:56:48

listen to your people. listening to their loud messages, what are they trying to tell you? you hold these gigantic meetings to talk about how to solve problems, but dont you see that the answer is right in front of you. you dont ask about what the people want. the people you work for. the people who gave you this position. pay your respects, at least. and not hurt them. if you look and listen carefully, they were NOT trying to hurt anybody. but to truly make a statement for you to see. obv...

have you ever?

___blank (gchan) — 2010-06-27 15:29:32

have you ever put so much effort into something, so hard and so long that your life was on the line? and in the end, and then realizing you failed it. dissappointment. have you ever had to listen to two people argue about something so useless, and meaningless you want to scream at them? but you cant cause you are in no position to say anything? frustrated. have you ever wanted to speak up about something but never could, just to avoid the conflict and the aftermath of it? ignorance. have you ...

VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE

___blank (gchan) — 2010-06-22 08:20:05

i saw this book when i was in the philippines at a bookstore. it was kind of a low point that day, and i was standing beside someone who i did not want to speak to at the moment. i was reading a book of short poems, because at that specific moment, i just had no patience to start something i knew i couldnt finish. as i was reading, something caught my eye and it was a name. VERONIKA. i guess it was the exchange a K instead of a C. at first it would seem like just a regular book to me. but it ...

self reflection: "your own disaster" - taking back sunday

___blank (gchan) — 2010-05-28 12:34:44

Just think of this and me as just a few of the many things to lie around, to clutter up your shelves. And I wish you weren't worth the wait cause there's some thing's I'd like to say to you... And I don't think that you know what you've been missing 'Cause I don't think that you know what you've been missing And I dare you to forget the marks you left across my neck, from those nights when we were both found at our best. Now I could make this obvious, and you, you could deny meall in one ...

heaven and back

___blank (gchan) — 2010-05-25 03:28:21

it was a grand place to be. it was warm and loving. it was all knowing and exciting. it was easy but very difficult to reach. it was open and carefree. it was scary the first time. it was confusing at times. most times. it was quiet inside, but very loud outside. or sometimes, it was loud inside, blocking the noise outside. it was an adventure, an exploration, into an abyss of someone else's world. it was new and bright. it was fast and short. it was realizing the smaller things. it was see...